Good news from the Head Librarian, Edith Tintwhistle (Miss)
It has been a long and tedious summer and I have to be cautious and say that we are not completely there yet. Zak, the young man sent by Qinuseless to get our 1901 village census online, has worked very hard with limited resources. As you may remember, Zak has a personal hygiene problem which has been difficult to share within the warm confines of the library during August. When finally I was persuaded to take some time off, Felicity and I escaped to East Anglia to take in some fresh air and to carry out some of our own family history research.
It was with delight and relief that when I returned to my post last week, Zak had changed his Tee shirt (the fourth this year). The latest garment, which is, as usual, black, has a picture of a leaf - rather like a horse chestnut but with thinner leaflets. Underneath the leaf in bold letters, is the word 'RESPECT' and I have to say that I must respect all his hard work.
When Zak saw me he grunted with pleasure. For a moment I thought he was actually going to speak. Craig came to the rescue. He beamed and threw his arms around me.
"Welcome home Miss Tintwhistle" he said, "You will be pleased to know that we now have a test site".
Craig has explained that we now have a version of the Great Cockup Census on the internet but that we must not on any account tell anyone because it is not very 'robust' and it still has some 'bugs and gliches'. Providing just a few people at a time discover it is there and search at it without the over-use of their refresher buttons it should be okay.
Zak is of course full of himself and has volunteered to help with the computer at the local comprehensive school. The poor dears have had to begin the new term without ten new teachers who are sitting at home on full pay whilst the headteacher is trying to log onto a criminal record web site to see if any of these new staff are a danger to children.
That nice Mr Major; who would have thought it?
This Edwina Currie and John Major thing continues to rumble on in the papers. Mr Scurvy the library caretaker says that she was only doing to the Prime Minister what she did to the egg producers, though I don't really understand what he means. I do know that Mr Scurvy is very bitter about Edwina Currie, and spits whenever he says her name. He has a sister who in the eighties had a smallholding in Wales (Editor's note: genuine name and address provided on request) selling rare breed day old chicks. Ms Currie's salmonella revelations and the kneejerk legislation which followed meant that although no eggs were sold, their smallholding was sudden expected to meet food hygiene standards which proved prohibitively expensive. She and her husband lost their business almost overnight and their home shortly afterwards. Quite understandably they have never forgiven the woman .
Edith Tintwhistle (Miss)
DON'T TELL ANYONE!
DON'T PRESS YOUR REFRESHER BUTTON UNTIL WE TELL YOU!